Yesterday, something quite amazing happened to me and I wanted to share this with you, as it may help many others.
I have a new coach and it was our first session together. I was talking about a particular situation that I wanted to change and although I had been trying, it was still not happening.
Now I am a particular proponent of challenging yourself to achieve better results and that, here I was doing exactly that, changing what I was doing and yet not achieving the results I wanted and so not finding the freedom in that particular area I wanted.
It was his constant persistence to get to the bottom of this thing that kept me thinking more deeply into it and forcing myself to really root around in my childhood to find the cause of this particular trait.
You see, we are not born with values or beliefs. We are a blank page and open to all the influences that pour into us. These beliefs come from parents, wider family and teachers mainly because these are the people who we respect.
From those beliefs come our values and we see the world as through the filter of those values, very much like a light filter on a camera. Frome those values, our behaviours and attitudes are spawned.
My coach was able to help me get right back to my beliefs and where they stemmed from. At first, I thought it was from my family but when I really dug deeply, I realised they came from my early school days, specifically from a teacher who was not happy with a new headmaster.
This guy had been a former teacher, who she obviously knew at the time and then had left to create his own success. He has travelled the world by the time he came back, this time as the headmaster.
The teacher resented his success and told us all about how he has supposedly built his success on the exploitation of others, a very ‘bad’ thing to do. As I was constantly with her at about 5 or 6 years old, guess what? This became my belief and my value of success being synonymous with exploitation was born.
Yesterday, this was identified and now it will be resolved.
The lesson here is that, however much we challenge ourselves to change, some behaviours and values cannot be changed until we get right back to the root of the sponsoring belief. When that has been identified, it can be replaced with a belief and then a value which serves you.
The challenge in this case is to find that root and the good news is, all beliefs can be changed.
So, where is your life not as successful now as you would wish it to be?
I challenge you to explore the belief that is driving that.
Have a challenging day,
– Mark Tanner.