We all need people. Like all animals, man needs to socialise with others for our lives to promote well being and happiness.
However, as we know, everyone is different. They will have different thoughts, different agendas, different aspirations different reasons that drive them as well as different incomes, different jobs and the list goes on.
Out of all this myriad of differences, we attract people with similar interests to us and form a social group of friends and sometimes family. The people we attract often mirror how we see ourselves; our self esteem.
However, therein lies a potential stumbling block for many, caused directly by our often very low self esteem.
If we think we’re are not good enough at this, or a little overweight, perhaps we drink a little too much, not as fit as we would like to be and various other thousands of negative beliefs that put a small crack in our mirror of self image, guess what? That is exactly the same type of people we will attract.
These people may not look the same but in some way, they will act the same. It is their thoughts and beliefs that are similar and resonate with us. I’m sure you’ve heard the expression ‘birds of a feather flock together’; Jim Rohn, one of the great observers of our time made the comment “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”.
People with low self esteem are often unhappy, angry, cynical, negative, defensive to name but a few and are generally discontent with their lives. When those people have a social group that reflects the same behaviours, nothing will improve and very likely, it becomes a downward spiral. Then who knows where that misery will end?
What makes us want to live like that? In fact, until we start to reflect and think about our lives, we are not even aware we are like that. We are only woken up by severe shock. When life appears to kick us in the teeth and we cannot understand why.
I have been through this on several occasions and it was only until one catastrophic incident a few years back that I stopped, reflected on my life and thought deeply into why I was living the way I was. Once I started that process was when I realised how low my self esteem was. With that identified, I was then able to start making improvements and, some very difficult, changes.
However, those changes have enabled me to grow and develop ad become very comfortable with myself.
So, when was the last time you stopped, took some time out on your own and started reflecting and thinking about your life? If not for a while, then I urge you to, for your own good, today.
Have a thoughtful day
– Mark Tanner